Home » Archives for JeanWidner

JeanWidner

Adoption Paradox Primal Wound

Exploring The Primal Wound

Within the sub-culture of adoption, few theories are as celebrated and simultaneously controversial as “The Primal Wound”. The book with the same name, written by Nancy Verrier in 1993, calls out the idea that separating an infant from its mother is...

ICWA Adoption Paradox

Native Americans and The Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA)

This is an excerpt from Chapter 4 of “The Adoption Paradox” on the History of Adoption. The tales of the atrocities of the U.S. government against Native Americans are lengthy and well-known. There are two key aspects to note when one...

The Flame

From deep inside the womb, I know both love and sadness. They ripple through my blood, my bones, and intertwine to create the essence of me.  This invisible truth sits inside, certain, a spark that will not die. Like the campfire that no matter...

Adoption Paradox Flying Circus

The Flying Circus Inside My Head

The mother who raised me was an addict. She and my father adopted me, but I’m not sure why. In 1962 when you got married, you started a family. Those were the rules. Never mind that my mother had already begun her dark slide into depression and...

Gayle and Jacob Adoption Paradox

Gayle’s Story

I’m married to Matt, and I’m a petite little thing, and I don’t cycle properly. We married later in life. I was 28. We started looking at adoption immediately because it took us a year and a half to get pregnant with our first son...

Shellie's Story The Adoption Paradox

Shellie’s Story – Adoptee, Birth Mother

My story is the age-old tale of black and white, my mother being white, my father black. It goes back to the story of an older man with a younger woman. She was a teenager, got pregnant, and had me. She tried to keep me for a while, but for whatever...

Adoption Intent AdoptionParadox.com

The Power of Words

My Mother Didn’t Want Me. My Mother Couldn’t Keep Me. Sit with those two sentences. Feel the differences implied by their words. In one, you are rejected and abandoned. Discarded. Given away, never to be thought of again. The other gives a different...

Tina Adoptee AdoptionParadox.com

Tina’s Story

My father was black. My biological mother was white. My adoptive family is all white. So, it wasn’t like they could pretend I had been born from them. My earliest memories of being adopted are my parents talking about it and explaining that...

Birth Parent Father AdoptionParadox.com

Mel’s Story – A Birth Father

I had left college in 1967, which turned out to be one of those things where I realized this is not where I’m supposed to be. I’m busy finding a place, finding work, paying bills, and living where the University of Vermont is. Which is...

The Things You Learn AdoptionParadox.com

The Things You Learn

The Salvation Army had made two attempts to reach my birth mother. They sent two letters, three months apart, one in April, not long after we had located my mother Barbara, and then another one in July. They, like myself, had also left two voice...