Author. Adoptee. Advocate.
Jean Kelly Widner
Jean Kelly Widner is an author, researcher, and passionate advocate for truth in adoption narratives. Her background in professional writing empowers her to tell complex stories with clarity and compassion. Jean writes with the goal of giving voice to those often left out of the adoption conversation—birth parents, adoptees, and families shaped by the system. The Adoption Paradox is the result of years of personal interviews, research, and emotional courage.
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The Adoption Paradox: When Love Isn’t the Only Answer
The Adoption Paradox challenges the romanticized narrative of adoption. Jean explores the deep emotional and psychological impacts adoption has on all parties involved. Drawing from real-life stories, expert interviews, and in-depth research, this book invites readers to examine adoption through a new lens—one of nuance, trauma-awareness, and healing.
Subtopics to include:
- Why the “happy ending” is more complex
- Key themes: identity, loss, love, and justice
- Why this book matters now more than ever
Meet the Researchers
Behind The Adoption Paradox is a dedicated team of researchers who helped bring clarity, context, and compassion to the stories within these pages. With diverse backgrounds in psychology, sociology, child welfare, and historical research, this team worked closely with Jean Kelly Widner to ensure that the book is not only emotionally resonant—but also factually grounded and ethically sound.
Their work includes in-depth interviews, cross-referencing state and national adoption laws, analyzing patterns in adoption-related trauma, and helping identify systemic issues that continue to affect adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive families today.
Their contributions helped shape the book’s most critical insights, from the hidden costs of closed adoptions to the mental health impact of identity loss and family separation. Their combined efforts elevate The Adoption Paradox from a memoir into a collective truth—a tapestry of stories supported by evidence, empathy, and a fierce commitment to justice.
The team’s mission is clear: to open hearts, inform minds, and change the way adoption is discussed, studied, and practiced.
Reviews
This Powerful Book Will Change Lives: Having read countless adoption books by adoptees, by adoptive parents, and by birth mothers, I began reading Jean Widner’s The Adoption Paradox never dreaming how it would affect me. Not only was I immediately captivated by Widner’s excellent writing skills, but I was enthralled by her obvious commitment to educate and open readers’ eyes about the history and complicated story of adoption and its aftermath. This powerful and important book is filled with reliable facts regarding all types of adoption and softened, yet made more intense, by heartfelt interviews with adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents throughout the book. At times I was stunned and at times I read with tears in my eyes and a heaviness in my heart. Widner’s research is unquestionably admirable and all-inclusive, and her voice is undeniably the one that needs to be heard not only by members of the adoption triad, but by all professionals in the field of adoption, and the public who have bought into the old and tired “all adoption is beautiful” theory.
~ Laura L. Engel, Birth Mother and Author of You’ll Forget This Ever Happened-secrets, shame, and adoption in the 1960s.
Jean Widner does a wonderful job of exploring the multiple perspectives and complexities of adoption. She digs deep into the lives of many types of adoptees who hold the paradox of being loved by one family and yet holding grief and relinquishment trauma from another.
~Sharon Stein McNamara Ed.D., L.P.
Putting Adoption in Perspective by Jean Kelly Widner is well-researched, thorough and well-documented. Even while she is addressing some of the systemic failures and missteps regarding the way adoption occurs in the USA, her book serves as an invitation for both why and how we can do better by families and adopted persons. Readers will find much to digest. They will find themselves both learning as well as unlearning.
As they begin to recognize the “Adoption Paradox” they will begin to appreciate the deep dualities in adoption and will move beyond the myth of adoption is a totally benign choice. Instead, they will understand the urgency to help preserve families and reduce the number of adoptions so that adoption will be a last resort not the first solution for helping struggling families.
—Gayle H. Swift, author, “Reimagining Adoption: what Adoptees Seek from Families and Faith”
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From The Blog
A thorough education on the world of adoption – 5 stars
I had no idea how the world of adoption worked before reading this book. It's eye opening in every sense of the phrase. Highly recommended. -Elliott_David
The Flame
Runner Up: Jean Kelly Widner Boulder City, Nevada Congratulations, Jean! Jean’s Bio: Jean Widner is a professional writer and business owner of a small-town media outlet, BoulderCity.com. She has worked retail and co-owned two successful e-commerce companies and now...
A Loving Launch
This past Saturday, May 31st in Boulder City, a group of special friends, supporters and contributors to the book, The Adoption Paradox, gathered to celebrate and share our stories. I’m proud this work has brought together so many different voices and...
Talented Writer!!! – 5 Stars
I'm familiar with this author's writing and am absolutely looking forward to reading it!!! -Madeline Murphy
Persuasive, Thorough Look at Adoption and How and Why We Can and Must Do Better – 5 Stars
Adoption Paradox: Putting Adoption in Perspective by Jean Kelly Widner is well-researched, thorough and well-documented. Even while she is addressing some of the systemic failures and missteps regarding the way adoption occurs in the USA, her book serves as an...
An eye opening look at adoption from all angles! – 5 Stars
I learned so much! I pre-ordered a copy of the book from the author’s website and received it via mail. I have not been part of the adoption community, and was very unaware of the turmoil, emotions, legality, and all the ramifications that the adoption process has on...
The Adoption Paradox is an instant classic!
I received an advance readers copy of the book. Jean Widner succeeds in capturing the depth and breadth of the history of adoption in America from the late 1800s to the present and yet also manages a deep dive into many specifics of the practice, as well. She offers...
A Comprehensive and Empathetic Portrait of Adoption Worldwide – 5 Stars
I received an advance reader's copy of Jean Kelly Widner's, The Adoption Paradox - A remarkable and deeply moving exploration of the multifaceted world of adoption, told with heart, authenticity, and unflinching honesty. As an adoptee herself, Widner brings a unique...
Must read for everyone in the adoption universe. , particularly judges, & lawmakers – 5 Stars
I received an advance readers copy of “The Adoption Paradox by Jean Widner. As an ally to many members of the adoption community, I was excited to read Jean‘s book and she did not disappoint. So well researched, poignant, and relevant. Before reading this book, I was...